idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
