i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
