names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
