It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
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