Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
