If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
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let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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