girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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