Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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