why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
