i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
