NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
