I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
