i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
