Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
