I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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