It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
