Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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