I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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