How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I love you. Go after that dick
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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