glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
