I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
