Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
