I heard we made out
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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