By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
