I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize