oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize