awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
50% drunk capacity currently
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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