idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
