it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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