dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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