And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
