well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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