her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize