i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
