are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
