Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
