She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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