Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
