No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
