I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
