actually, I'm a sock model
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize