C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
