Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
