Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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