if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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