Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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