physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
