If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
