he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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