3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
