someone get that fucking seahorse.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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